Thankful to be me

There's a song that I learned in Primary when I was younger and I taught to the Primary children in November. The ending goes, "These many blessings make me feel, so thankful to be me." I had a series of thoughts that made me feel this way when Brian, the kids, and I were coming home from work yesterday and I would like to write them down.

I complain and dread working a lot. I also am tired of our family being so busy - mainly Brian and me. Wednesday the car broke down and we had to pay to get it fixed. Brian started talking about the gigs he has so we can pay for it quickly. I felt so frustrated at all the nights that he was going to be gone, but none the less, it is helping us to have the things we need.

We were talking about his upcoming schedule for the next week and I was feeling gypped about the time that he is going to be gone. Then I stared feeling resentment about my work ToDo list that is building up with deadlines approaching - including the work for my Primary calling. You see, I am a lazy person - I don't like to work if I have to. If I want to, I like it (cleaning and organizing the house or doing projects). But when it comes to actual work that has deadlines - I just don't like it and I put it off. I am a big procrastinator. Anyway, so I was feeling frustrated about Brian being gone, and me having to work, when my thoughts turned to some friends from college that I ran into the other day who have a two year old. Both of them work. I am assuming with the kind of jobs they have not doing anything with their degrees and the amount of student loans they have, that its not because they want to, I think they need to. I started wondering what it would be like to raise a child if they are both gone? I then started thinking about our family and how I would manage having a family if I had to work outside of the home. I would definitely not been able to homeschool the kids this year - or help Brian at work when things get busy there. That led me to think how I am grateful for Brian working at a job that is the majority source of our income, and taking gigs at night to supplement that income so that I don't have to go find a higher paying job. I can work my two part time jobs at home to help complete our income. How lucky are we to be able to go to work with Brian and I get paid for it and we can bring the kids and their school work along? We are very lucky.

It may feel/seem weird that our income is like a patchwork quilt, but it works, and maybe in the future, Sierra can be our only source of income and I won't need to work and Brian would only need to take gigs if he wants to, but for now, our quilt works just fine.

First day of Disneyland

Just some thoughts so I don't forget them before I have a chance to write an official post.
We went on the train, of course. Then we went to splash mountain. Then thunder mountain railroad, pirates of the carribean, haunted mansion holiday, star tours then space mountain.
When we got off pace mountain we all had trouble walking but Elijah couldn't go up the stairs in a straight line. Our picture on splash mountain, you can't see Quianna because she has her hhead down since she was scared. She loved thunder mountain. After space mountain and we were leaving the park the I asked them how their first experience and they said 110% awesome! They were so stoked! It was a great first day!

Getting Ready!

We are getting ready for Disneyland this weekend! We leave Tuesday morning at 6am! That's when our flight leaves so we need to wake up at 4. I am so excited! Lots to do!

Does it never stop?

I have been on my computer from 7:00 this morning working... I took two 5 minute breaks to make the kids breakfast and lunch. I just got an email telling me that I just sent out a press release with the wrong stuff on it... just one more thing... I was just going to go take a shower too!

I don't care what it takes but I am going to get everything done so I can enjoy my break next week - because I am going to need it. I am going away next Tuesday morning and Monday night I am going to set up an automatic response saying "Sorry I can not read your email right at this exact second, but I am at the Happiest Place on Earth right now and would appreciate not being bothered by your work."

Ok, so it won't be that rude, but I am getting tired. I know I said that I wanted to be a stay at home mom that can work from home, but lately it feels like all I have been doing is work and not being a mom or housewife - and the state of the house can prove that.

Ok, enough for that rant - I just had to get it out. 8 more days... 8 more days...

later edit... a shower and feelgood music makes everything better... now that work stuff is done, I can get to what I had planned for today - planning the next month of homeschooling...

Woohoo!

I swept and scrubbed the kitchen floor! It feels so good! I am going to try and get the house clean one room at a time before we go to the Tri-Cities this weekend. I really want this weekend to be a time off - I need this weekend to be a vacation and be able to come back restful...

Today I got my All-city work done before 1:00 - that felt weird. Normally it's 8:30pm until I get it done and that's only because I don't like making phone calls to people I don't know after that time. Anyway, I took advantage of not needing to do anything pressing and prepared homeschool for the rest of the week. Hopefully I can spend some time tonight/tomorrow and plan next week so when I come home on Sunday, I won't have much to do to prepare for the week. Who knows?! Maybe I'll be able to come home on Sunday and watch football with my husband! I was so looking forward to this season with out having to do homework for school - now I am just doing homework for homeschool. Oh well, it seems like the games that I have (kind of) watched while cleaning/working have had tons of penalties and have been slow moving. I so wish Peyton Manning was in... Peyton - this was suppose to by my year to enjoy football!

Sorry, I will move away from lamententing. Anyway, hopefully I can get the house clean, homeschool ready, and maybe even cook dinner to have it in the fridge! Maybe...

I am making grape juice tonight... its fun to watch it come down the tube. Elijah helped me separate the grapes before bed, so when it was time to open the tube up and let the juice come down I got him out of bed to see it. He was excited - but then he asked if I could get him when it comes down again. Give them an inch and they want a foot ;-)

Well, I better go. I need to research deals for carry-on luggage for our Disneyland trip and finish the kids grading system.

Special Family Council

Brian and the kids had a special family council last night for me. Brian took the kids into Quianna's room yesterday morning... I was wondering what was going on, but soon forgot about it.

Last night before bed, the kids and Brian sat on the couch across from me and they each took turns telling me how I have impacted them and told a story about me.

Elijah's likes how I make breakfast for them every morning and that I homeschool him. The story was that I would say, "I am going to homeschool, I am not going to homeschool... I am going to homeschool... I am not going to homeschool etc" He thought that was funny.

Quianna likes how I make good dinners and that I homeschool them. Her story was when I first came into the family and we had curry one night for dinner. Before that it was always buritos and hot dogs. She remembers the first night we had curry and she thought "Ooo! We're eating fancy" and she says now we eat fancy all the time. What's funny about this is that Brian introduced curry to me. It must have been introduced to the kids around the same time because they associate it with me.

Brian appreciates how he can have a peace of mind while he is away, knowing that his children are taken care of and being nurtured. He also likes how I have turned holidays into something magical and special for our family. He said if it was just him, it wouldn't happen. His story was the other day when he had to work late at EWU and didn't have much time to come home and eat before going to Gonzaga. I had his lunch ready to go mobile for him. When he said he was going to eat at home, I quickly adapted. He also mentioned how the lunch fit his needs perfectly as he was sick. He said he appreciates the countless times that I think of things similar to that to take care of him.

So, I learned last night that my family really likes my food. :-) Elijah - breakfast, Quianna - dinners, and Brian - lunch. :-)

Brian stressed at the end of the discussion how much better the family is with me. This was a really needed family council for me because lately I have been so uptight with so much going on that I have felt like all I bring to the family is a complaining iron fist. I was telling Brian how I feel like such a loser because I am not succeeding at anything. We talked about that - He said that right now I have just bitten off more than I can chew. It's true. Between All-City, homeschooling, Primary chorister, mom, and housewife - I just can't do everything at my 100%.

Today was better. I exercised (!), got the kitchen clean (no the floors weren't mopped, but the counters are clean and that's an accomplishment right now), we did homeschool very well, AND I did 2 hours of All-city work. I am tired. However, when Brian gets home tonight I am going shopping for food. I hope he comes home quickly because I would like to be in bed as close to 10:30 as possible.

Wish me luck!

Teacher Planning Day

I need a day off. I went crazy this morning. I was at the table saying a prayer asking Heavenly Father for patience when Elijah knocked on Quianna's door to tell her it was school time. Then Quianna yells, "KimKim.... KimKim" then Elijah came in the kitchen noticed I was praying, said "Shh!" But Quianna was in her room so she didn't hear, so then "KimKim!" continued. I heard Quianna coming out of her room and she said, "KimKim! I was yelling for you!" I had had it! My patience was gone! If I ever had some this morning. I said, "I was praying! I was asking Heavenly Father for patience - which is completely lost now! ... I can't do home school! I don't know why I even thought I could."

I just stared off with my head in my hand thinking, "What do I do?" I came to the conclusion after a while that if I can use this day to help me get my head above water, the rest of the year might be better. So today my mission is to figure out curriculum for the the rest of the week, I am going to get our portfolio's in order, I have ordered some math books off Amazon which will come on Wednesday, I am going to make some phone calls for All-City, and I am going to clean the kitchen really good. It's a busy day - but I can do it! I HAVE to do it or else the day is going to waste.

The kids job is to clean their rooms really good and to rake the pine needles. Other than that - they get a day off. I figure, public school teachers get a day off to plan and get their stuff done, why can't I?

This whole year I have been trying to play catch up in math for the kids. Finally I will have some books to help me so I am not making it up as I go. I wish I had ordered them earlier.

Bones

I am hooked. When I was visiting I saw my dad watching a show. I asked what he was watching and he said "Bones." Later, my mom had said, "yeah, dad watches bones, but uck, I don't like watching it." My thought was maybe because of the bad language or immorality. So I put it aside.

The other night while we were watching football the commercial for the next episode kept coming on. I thought it looked funny and noticed the series was on Netflix. I have watched probably the first 8-10 episodes since Sunday. It has been funny and pleasantly mostly clean - especially compared to other shows. I just hope it stays that way.

A couple of the reasons why I am probably hooked is that Agent Booth is Angel from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, a show I watched when I was in high school with my sister-in-law Erin and I thought he was so cute! Also, Brennan looks a lot like my friend Holly. It is a lot of fun. A crime scene but something that doesn't give my nightmares or makes it so I can't sleep like Criminal Minds does. I will say that there are some times that I can't stomach and so I have to look away. I think that is the reason why my mom didn't like it - which surprises me because she loves the movie The Mummy, but I think it can be over the top.

Venting Session

I think I am done working for All-city. I kept saying last year that this year will be my last year. I thought it would be different because we have a new executive director. I just don't know... I don't like it; however, it is my only outlet except for Sierra to practice my graphic design - and All-city pays more than Sierra. It's just a whole lot easier to work with my husband and Bob than it is to work for Rob and Alan. I just don't like it anymore. I don't know what to do though because it would take away possible income I can earn.

I really don't like my job. Maybe its just because I am lazy and want to do other things than work in my life - like sew, or clean and organize my house, and teach my kids. Unfortunately I can't earn an income from those things. I am so tired of money. Why can't we just use a barter system? Forget about money and enjoy life?

Spring Cleaning...?

...In the Fall. Now that I am done with school, I have some time on my hands. Its not much between homeschooling, regular housework, being a chauffeur, and working as a graphic designer, but its something, and I am using this time for organizing and purging our house. The biggest task that we are working on right now is the Office. We are turning it into a closet/music room. We have gone through and thrown away trash, organized the stuff into boxes and now we need to finish that step, put the desk on craigslist, and start looking for a filing system or bookshelf so we can take the stuff in the boxes out and file them. I think most of my stuff can just stay in the garage, but Brian has music that he wants to file.

Anyway, it feels so good to purge! We have donated a lot of stuff. The next place - once the office is done - is the garage. Those are the projects for Brian and me to do together. He and I work on them for about an hour on the free nights that we have. Eventually we will get them done. I on the other hand have projects of my own. I am in the process of organizing our school stuff - including our desk. It is taking a while because I am analyzing how we use everything and trying to find the right spot for each object so it actually gets put back.

An update from the McCann Household

Home school is going well. We are still working on trying to figure out a routine. Monday we started early. We ate breakfast at 7:45 and started school at 8:15. Yesterday we started at 8:30. Today I think we'll start at 8:45. I am just so tired. It is hard for me to have a social life with Brian at night and get ready for home school in the morning. I am a person that loves and values my sleep. I can't pop out of bed and be ready. I have never really been like that - especially since I got married. I don't know why, but I started needing more sleep.

Anyway, the kids are working well and starting to understand the fact that I won't hold their hand every step of the way. and most importantly I am trying to teach them that I am not going to do their work for them - which I don't think they will ever understand.

Good habits are starting though. The kids have now read their scriptures every weekday morning for 15 minutes before school. The kids are learning how to do a short devotional. Each morning after the pledge of allegiance and prayer someone shares a scripture that they like. Elijah's has been mostly articles of faith, because its easy to find, but he's still young.

I have been trying to think about how long we will be doing home school because I like hanging out with the kids all day, but I think however when I start having kids - whenever that may be - I will put them back in regular school. I really miss the days when I could stay in my pjs and send Elijah off to school. We'll see how it goes.

For now, I am really liking it!

My mission to declutter and organize!

First stop: The side of my bed

Before

After!

Ok, So I have way too many shoes. I just don't know which ones I want to get rid of.

Our K12 stuff came today!

... and yesterday. Most of Quianna's stuff came yesterday and the rest along with Elijah's stuff came today. So both yesterday and today our living room has been consumed with school materials. Finally! Today we did our first history lesson and Quianna did her first literature and language lessons. I have been waiting so long to get going on this. We are now going full scale of home school. Finally! I am going to be saying that a lot. Tomorrow Elijah will start grammar, literature, and we will begin Art... Finally! The picture above is just Elijah's stuff... so imagine this TIMES TWO!

Another big plus to this is I won't be needed to print so many worksheets... Finally! Our printer (and the toner and paper pile) will finally get a rest.



This is a picture of the kids putting together a Food Web of animals for science. Elijah has a piece of yarn and is going to lay it down to connect two pictures of animals. It has been fun doing home school, but today I am feeling exhausted. I can't wait until the kids know the drill and I won't have to be explaining so much to them. Then I might not be so exhausted at the end of the day.

One hundred percent

We read Horton Hatches the Egg for yesterday's read aloud time. As Mayzie left Horton to hatch her egg in order for her to go have some fun, I started thinking about my life. I am here taking care of Elijah - I might not have laid him when he was an egg, but I am sure hatching him! Horton took care of that egg through snow, thunder, lightning, wind, rain, sunshine, even being hunted! All because he is faithful one hundred percent. I had thought about the rain and thunder that I have had to withstand and the lightning that may come in future years; I thought about the sunshine that I am enjoying (with patches of rain clouds) while I am homeschooling. But you know what? No matter how many qualities or obstacles come from the person who laid the egg, when the egg hatches the end result looks a little like Horton.

I like to think that Dr. Seuss wrote this book for the step-parents out there struggling, thinking they won’t make a difference because sometimes it feels like it is all biological; but I know that Elijah will develop some good things from me – It just depends on how faithful I am… I said what I said and I meant what I meat, a Kimberly’s faithful one hundred percent.

Who woulda thunk?

I think homeschooling was the best decision for me at this point of my life. When thinking about the last week and a half I can honestly say - I have achieved so much! I have kept my house clean (except on the weekends when I take a break)... ok so at least one room is cleaned everyday. I have been keeping up with laundry and I have stopped eating so much sweets! You see, when I was home alone during my last quarter of college, it was easy to sneak a half a package of cookies for the day - especially the peanut butter graham cracker cookies covered in chocolate... what can I say? those with a tall glass of milk... one word: addicting! Now, I can't sneak because I am always upstairs with the kids, so I can't hide it from them. Not even a quick cookie from the cupboard. That has definitely helped my blood sugar.

Also if I were home alone, I would start my day with a tv show and then get sucked in - "One more episode and then I'll clean the kitchen (or living room, bedroom, fold laundry, etc)" NOW, I have to be productive because I stay up stairs to help the kids with their work - so what else am I going to do? Also, my time is very limited so I can't get sucked into TV and I have little time to get things done so I have to use it wisely!

I do however feel like I am constantly working - which feels good at the end of the day, but tiring in the middle.

These are all wonderful byproducts from homeschooling; however, I think the best one of all is that I am getting closer to my kids. I spend almost all day with them! I usually have about an hour to myself in the morning and a half hour of "Me-time" in the afternoon. Other than that - I am with them. I am constantly reminding myself of the mom I want to be, and I have more fun and feel closer to them when I try to be that person. I am trying to be more loving and understanding with Elijah. I am also trying to have more fun with them. We have PE together which is some good quality fun time. I get a couple of minutes alone with each of them as we read aloud together. It has been wonderful.

That being said, I am not going to deny how many times during the day I think, "How in the world is this going to work?" It would be extremely helpful to have two computers so they can do math and science at the same time. Science will be better if/when we get a TV that can connect to the computer (Brian and I were dreaming one day at Costco and we were thinking about our tax return next year), because then all three of us won't be crowded next to the computer. On the other hand, I think I would miss them close to me and having Elijah's head on my shoulder.

Having two places for them to work would be nice. Right now we have the desk in the living room with the computer on it, and the dining room table that they do work sheets at. The dining table moves really easily when it is bumped and so it makes it hard for two kids to be working on opposite sides of it. Also, when I am working with one student, the other has a hard time of focusing. Maybe I should ask Christina how she does that.

Also, it would be immensely helpful to have two of me! I am constantly having one of them waiting for help from me. Hopefully it will get better as the year goes on. We really need to work on their direction/instruction reading - that would solve a lot of the problems. Common sense... hmm... how do we develop that? just kidding... kind of...

Anyway, as a whole, it has been pretty good. I hope it will change our family for the better. I think we are on our way.

First Week of School

Second day of School Picture! We have an unusual school around here :-) We were practicing football outside for our P.E. and our neighbor asked us if the kids wanted to run through their sprinklers.

Today during grammar we went over nouns. Elijah didn't understand the word singular so I started talking about being single - only one of them. He said, "Oh, like when you don't have a girlfriend." I said, "Sure."

First on the list was box. I asked him how do you get more than one box. He said, "You get another box and then it's not single anymore and they kiss. Then you get lots of little boxes!"

It was pretty funny. The joys of homeschooling :-)

I got a phone call from the teacher I am working with and she is registering me for K12 and I will be getting my materials soon! Yay!

First Day of School

Well, today was the first day of homeschool and it was a success! When we were having our silent reading time I was thinking, "I have spent the whole day with my kids, and I feel good." Yes, Elijah and I had our moments, but we had fund today.

The kids did spelling and math, then we had Mom's Minute we talked about goals. We watched the first minute and a half of this movie



Then we imagined ourselves of how we want to be in a year. We wrote down our goals, what we want to improve in.
After that, we went over grammar: What makes a sentence? Subjects and predicates.
After lunch we had P.E; we played catch with the football and ran around the yard.

We had some free time, then did our chores in the kitchen and living room. We did our reading and at 3:00 we had snack to end our school.

*later note: sorry it was so short and broken up... I was writing this in a hurry while I was watching West Wing.

Spiders don't take Labor Day off

I just had one crawling up my leg... in my pants! I felt something crawling around my knee, but I thought it might have been my imagination- like it usually is. So I reached down to move my pants and I felt a lump in there... I let out a short gasp/scream and the boys looked at me. I kept my hand around that area of pants, with my pants tightly balled in my hand. I limped my way to the bathroom (since I had to be bent over to keep my hand there) and took off my pants while holding that spot. I then dumped the crushed BIG spider in the toilet. I didn't take any pictures of it, but Brian and Elijah can be my witnesses - even crushed, that sucker was big!

Oh man... my heart is just now slowing down.

Elijah and sugar

Today Elijah had a cap put on his cavity. The last time he did this he slept all day long from the sedative they gave him. Today he also has his first football practice - which he needs to go to. The dr. said he would be fine as long as he eats lots of sugar and doesn't sleep too much so he can get the sedative out of his system. So today I made sugary kool-aid and pancakes. He was at the table and I told him - "You can't leave the table until you drink your kool-aid and eat one pancake with lots and lots of syrup!"


he was having a hard time eating his pancakes so I started him on pudding, then he moved onto his pancake... this is so weird!

Apples and Oranges

When I was tucking the kids into bed, I had something to talk to Quianna about so I stayed in her room for a couple minutes more than Elijah's. When I was leaving, he called me in to ask the "Why do you get a long better with her than me" questions. I tried to explain that I had to talk to Quianna privately so I stayed in her room for a couple minutes longer... he then said, you and I never talk... it gets really frustrating when he gets like this. I told him that it hurts me that he doesn't think about all the time we spend together - especially all the time that we spent last week with each other.

We kept at this for a few minutes and then he asked, "do we have a good relationship?" I told him yes! I told him we were all different and so it was different. I tucked him in again and then headed down stairs. Then I thought, he and I watch tv together while cuddling, Quianna and I don't do that, I should bring that up to him. So I went back upstairs and I talked to him about those things. I had mentioned that Quianna and I don't do that together, but what we do is talk - because we are girls and we talk. I tried explaining that his relationship with Brian is different from his relationship with me because they are both boys. Then it clicked, I asked him if he has ever heard the phrase "comparing apples and oranges". He hadn't so I explained it to him for a bit and we talked about how you can't compare them with each other because they are so different! But that doesn't mean one is better than the other (he then confessed that he likes oranges better than apples) at least in God's eyes. So then I said, "our relationship is like apples, and Quianna's and mine are like oranges! They are so different, but that doesn't mean one is better than the other!" He then tried to figure out what to call me since I am an apple and an orange, he figured it out...

I'm an Ornple!

The McCann Family Routine

The last two nights I have slept through the whole night! It has been a long time since I have been able to do that! For the last couple weeks Elijah has been waking up at least once a night and then can't get back to sleep. Then he'll come down stairs knock on our door until he wakes us up to call him in. He comes to us and says, "I can't get to sleep" only for us to say, "go back up stairs and keep trying."
Last week we started a new schedule. At 7:45pm the tv and video games turn off. Elijah takes a shower, and then its free time. He can do what he wants to entertain himself except for electronic stimulation. We also do family scripture study during that time. Then at 8:30pm he goes into his room and does his scripture reading. At 8:45pm we tuck him in, ask him if there is anything he wants to tell us before we leave, turn on the primary music and nightlight, and shut the door. He is then not allowed to call for us, or he doesn't get his 1/2 hour of free TV the next day.
We started this schedule last week but he still kept coming down to us in the middle of the night - every night. This week we decided to say, if he can go the week without coming down to us, he can get an ice cream cone at the end of the week. We also have been waking him up at 7:15am in the morning to have family prayer before Brian goes to work. That is making him get up at a certain time and not sleep in until he absolutely has to wake up. I think that is helping.
Life is really good. We have been doing Family Council ever Sunday evening and Family Home Evening on Tuesday evenings for the past 4 weeks! Brian said that we wanted to start getting Quianna for an evening at least once a week and so I really thought about it and felt inspired to have a set day so we can have Family Home Evening. I have made a FHE chart and laminated it. It's Noah's Ark. I thought it was fun.

After laminating it, I wrote The McCann's Family Home Evening Chart on the rainbow.

It has been so nice to have a schedule of family activities. It makes the days and weeks easier.

Winter Quarter is done!

Since this quarter was by far the top 2 of the busiest quarters of my 6 years of school I have not had time to write, or even just look at my blog. I figured I would give an update of the last few months. It’s going to be long, so I’ll do a section each day.

Starting in December... My computer became useless. It's been that way for a while but we had hope that it would last a year or so when we took it into the shop just before Thanksgiving. Unfortunately, they said it would cost about $400 to fix it. Brian and I had lots of talks about saving up each month to eventually get a new computer. I would just keep checking a laptop out from the school's library and lug it back and forth. I was not excited about this plan, but it was a plan. (background, since I am a graphic designer, and an administrative assistant, the computer is my work. It is the way I function, so it was really frustrating to think I would be out of my *own* computer for a long while)

Fast forward to Christmas morning. When I woke up, there was a big box by my stocking. I wondered what it could be as I went through everything else in my stocking. As I picked it up, I noticed it was really heavy. I started to rip off the wrapping paper of one corner to the center. As the middle of the box was revealed I saw the logo "Dell". It didn't register at first. Then it hit me- a new computer! As I opened the box I started crying. I couldn't believe it! What about all those talks about about saving money? Yet, here was a new computer laying in my lap- in my arms! More tears came streaming down. I felt so silly for crying on Christmas - but a new computer! Brian looked so pleased that he had done a good job. All the while, Dan and Barb are taking pictures with the tears on my face. I just had to sit there in awe for a few minutes before all the excitement came.

*side note* When Elijah saw it, he got up and said, "See kimkim, I told you Santa could bring you a computer!" He was right. I didn't thing it was possible when he and I had that conversation, but Santa did bring me a new computer.

For Christmas Elijah got a special blanket from Santa. It came with a letter from Santa. He began reading it but then said it was too sad so I needed to read it. It basically said that this was a new fluffy blanket to replace the old one. This was so the old one would not fall apart and can be kept safe. Needless to say, Santa started quite an uproar. We eventually decided that the rule for the blankets was the old one stays in his room. He can have it when he goes to bed, but if it leaves the bedroom it gets put away in storage. If he wants to cuddle he can bring the other one out, because that's what it is for.